Six words. Three phrases. One simple motto. Each phrase is important for different reasons, and each need the others to accomplish the goal of being ‘Divided Together’.
Have Courage.
First, the objective is not to sit around holding hands and singing Kum By Yah. No, there are serious issues worth discussing and it requires courage to wade into conversations where you know there are likely to be strong differences of opinion.
What doesn’t take courage is engaging in name calling or abusive behavior. If you believe something strongly, by all means bring that passion into conversation where you at least have an opportunity to help someone understand why you are so passionate. Don’t decide someone is your enemy if or because they don’t immediately agree with you.
Ultimately, the ‘Have Courage’ component is essential because there is risk involved when we engage in difficult conversations. It could be risk to our reputation or risk to our relationships, but without taking those risks we also lose the potential reward of deepened relationships and the reputation impact of respect earned through constructive dialogue.
Seek Truth.
How many conversations go sideways when we start from a position of believing we are 100% right and ‘they’ are 100% wrong? There are so many ‘facts’ and ‘fact-checkers’ out there – even the reality of 100% truth on any given topic can itself be elusive, if not impossible.
The ‘Seek Truth’ component means the goal of conversation isn’t about winning or losing but to focus on seeking truth together. It also means being open to learning things that challenge our beliefs.
It is worth noting the phrase isn’t to ‘Speak Truth’ but to ‘Seek Truth’. We’ve all seen or heard references to those claiming to speak “my truth” – when used to share someone’s own unique experience that’s great, but it’s often used to dogmatically shut down or avoid conversations.
Instead, if we commit to seek truth together, we can discuss challenging topics focused on finding common ground around shared goals, instead of throwing around divisive partisan talking points.
Be Kind.
Finding perfect agreement on almost anything is rare. Sometimes, even often perhaps, we end up learning our beliefs or positions on a given topic are truly irreconcilable. The ‘Be Kind’ component is a reminder for how to treat each other when those divisions become clear.
Another way to put this could be to ‘extend grace’. Outside of family or lifelong friendships, it is exceptionally difficult to know exactly what the person on the other side of a position or opinion has gone through leading them to the perspective they now hold. It is highly counter-productive to assume differences or disagreements are driven by evil or ill-motives.
In short, this world is full of heartache and hard choices – we all have bad days and tough things going on behind the masks we wear in public; that too is part of our shared humanity. In a sense ‘Be Kind’ is the balance to the ‘Have Courage’ component as we ‘Seek Truth’ together!